What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
08.06.2025 07:03
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Make Nazis afraid again!
When was the first time you suck on a penis?
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Why has no country adopted the SA80/L85 rifle?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Do you consider yourself pretty?
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
TEXT:
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Why do men cheat on their wives with someone extremely unattractive?
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.